[34—Shoffer's]

[CONTINUED]

"Look, guys," I said to both of them, "we've all had a rough day.  Let's just cut each other some slack, okay?  Tammy, don't you think wearing black-face was a bit provocative?  Maybe you should say you're sorry."

"Oh, hell no!  You tell Aunt Jemima she can apologize to you first, for dressin' up like a girl and playin' you like a juke-box."

She turned to hir and doubled up her fist. 

"And if you don't, and I mean right now, I will kick your black-ass so hard down this mother-fuckin' street, they won't ever have to tar it again; and don't you think that me bein' a little-bitty girl is gonna make one scrap o' difference."

"Knock it off, Congo monsters," the guy behind the counter called out, "or I'll ship you back to Africa, where you belong."

"Say what," Tammy yelled at him.  "I'll kick your ass too, you bird-chested, stick-legged, Brill-cream-wearing, pasty-assed, moon-pie-faced Honky!"

He walked over to the table, carrying a heavy rolling pin and gave us a thorough assessment.  He looked right at Topher.

"I've had enough outta you, Nigra," he said, poking hit in the chest.  "Now are you gonna calm it down or do I have to call the cops?"

"We were just going," Topher said, and started to get up.

"No, wait," Tammy confronted him.  She was on her feet now.

"What's your problem, heifer?  I came over here to see if this hoodlum was bothering y'all, but I can see she's already been a bad influence."

"Are you talking to her, or me?"

"You see any other Coloreds in here?"

"You get that damn thing out her FACE," Tammy launched herself at the man, who stood stunned for a brief second.  It was a second too long.

She stiff-armed the rolling pin and it bounced off the table and back flew over his left shoulder.  She upset the table while he was still flat-footed, overturning it on his foot, and drove it forward, knocking him flat on his ass.

She was halfway to the door before we realized what happened.  The waiter blinked; he was dripping with Coke and ketchup and had fries in his hair.

Topher passed around Tammy and was out the door.  I regained my composure, just as the other customers started crowding around and made a dash out the door.

"Hey you three," somebody called from inside.  "Stop!"

Topher was already on his bike, but he was in a quandry.  I heard glass breaking behind me and a girl screamed.

"Take Tammy," I yelled at him.  "I can run faster than her, I'll be fine."

But Tammy had other ideas.

"Oh no you don't Thumbelina," she said, grabbing me around the waist, and lifted bodily me onto the motorcycle.  "Get her outta here, Tophe; I'll meet you at her house."

"What about you," hit hollered over the revving engine. 

Two big guys were coming through the door.

"I'll be fine," she yelled, snatching up a wastebasket in a wrought-iron frame.  She threw it at the door.  The shattering glass stopped them in their tracks and she turned back to us.

"Go," she gasped and started sprinting.  Before we could even get moving she was off; by the time we hit end of the block she was long gone.

***

I don't think I took a breath until we found Tammy, about six blocks from my house.

"Are you okay," I asked her as we pulled up beside her.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"Are you really?"

It was Topher.  T&T had so far proven to be as explosive as their namesake. 

I was glad he was willing to make the effort.

She didn't say anything.

"Come on girl."  I tried to encourage her.  She looked really down, like she was all worn out.

"I hate white people," she spat.

"Dani's white," Topher observed.  I noticed he didn't say she was too.

"No, she's a Rarebit.  Y'all're a race unto yourselves.  I don't even know what the fuck you are anymore."

"Come on," Topher urged her gently, "let me give you a ride home."

"What the hell is wrong with people," she bellowed into the trees.  A porch light switched on in the distance.

I thought she was talking about all people, or normal people, but she turned to us.

"What is wrong with you two?"

 "Us?"

Topher stopped the bike and set the kickstand.

"You still want to fight?"  He got off and walked over to her.  "What will that prove?" 

He was yelling now too.

"No," she answered in a normal voice, "but I wish to God you did."

"Why," he asked, still hopping mad but still willing to talk.  "What do you have against me?"

"Nothing," she spat back visciously.  "I just wish you two would stick up for yourselves.  What are you gonna do without me to fight your battles?"

"Enjoy the peace," Topher answered, and I thought he blew it, but he was serious.

"You can't just run away, you know.  They will never back down if you don't back them down."

"Who are They?"  Topher was following her, and it looked like he was picking a fight.  Tammy wasn't exactly backing off.

"Everybody.  Look you two, I know you're not boys or girls, and maybe it's not fair for the rest of us to tell you how you have to live or behave, but that doesn't mean you have no responsibility as humans.  You have to slap those pipsqueeks down when they rear they ugly heads, otherwise, it gets just like the Deep South."

"It doesn't help."

"It helps me.  Then I don't have to watch out for everybody who can't watch out for themselves.  I'm tired, and I don't want to do it anymore."

"I'm sorry, Tammy.  But I'm a pacificist.  I don't believe in violence."

"It don't matter, violence believes in you.  What're you gonna do when it comes for you?"

"Try not to be there."

"You are such a pussy!"

"That's supposed to be an insult?" He laughed derisively.  "You mean I am the source of all life, tough and sensitive, and can stretch to several times my normal size to accommodate little pricks and ungrateful intruders?"

She laughed and the tension fell away like glass from a broken mirror; it was still a mess, but if you looked, you could see little bits of yourself in the pieces.

I rushed over to them and caught them up on a three-way hug.

"I love you guys," I whispered into the dead space between us.  "You know that, right?"

"Yes," answered Tammy. 

Topher didn't say anything for a while.  When he did, it wasn't what I'd expected, or wished.

"I'm sorry, Dani; I should have told you it was me.  I just wanted to see how long it would take you to figure out who it was.  I know it was mean, but I didn't mean it that way."

"That's okay, Topher.  I understand.  Nobody knows how to treat us, not even ourselves."

"You could try the Golden Rule," Tammy suggested.

"No, Tammy," Topher explained, "that wouldn't work.  You want to be treated like a girl, but Bobbi wants to be treated like a boy.  Neither of those ways is what I want.  And what about Dani?  Who knows what Dani wants?  You need to treat people like they want to be treated."

"How do you know what I want," I asked.

"I don't," he said.  "That's my point.  You never know till you ask.  What do you want, Dani?"

That was sure nice to hear, but it was late. 

"Right now, I want to go home.  But thank you for asking, and I hope you ask me again, regularly.  But it's 2:30, and we are all exhausted.  I got Gina home hours ago, and now it's time for me to go home.

"You should get going, if you're gonna get her home before her mom starts to worry.  I'm only a few blocks from home.  I'll be safe.

"After today, God help the person who gets between me and my bed."

We all cried, and hugged and apologized to one another.  We were all so very tired.

They drove off and I crept along the street in the dark.  The moon had set hours ago.  The sky was gorgeous though, and two very bright stars watched over me as I made my way home.

I'd dropped my pillow case somewhere along the way, so I didn't have my pajamas.  I took off my shoes and went in the back door.

Once inside, I sighed heavily and relaxed.  I got a glass of water to clear my pounding head.  I crept into the hallway and headed toward the stairs, thankful we didn't have a dog. 

I passed the study, noticing idly that someone had left light on. 

To my utmost horror, the knob turned silently and the door swung open. 

Time seemed to slow down, like it did when the cop had stopped me in Oklahoma. 

My stomach did a flip-flop.

"Dani," Daddy's voice came from within.  I told myself this wasn't happening.  "I've been waiting up for you.  Come in."

He stepped full into the light, holding the door open. 

"I think it's time we had a serious talk."

***

As I lay awake in my bed, trying to make sense of what just happened, it all came crashing down. 

We'd been so worried we'd get caught that I had put all my effort into preventing that eventuality, instead of pondering the consequences. 

I was too tired to even care when I got back the second time.

By all rights, Mother should have been the one to catch me—she was the astute one.  Daddy was more like Columbo to Mother's Pepper Anderson. 

But I was glad it was him; she'd have flipped her wig.

"Have a seat," he'd said, pointing to settee in the corner.  "Your mother doesn't know you snuck out."

"Are you going to tell her?"

"I don't think so, but this has to stop."

"I'm sorry Daddy, it will."

"This doesn't look good, but I'm not going to accuse you of anything; I'm just asking you to tell the truth.  But I will believe you unless you give me a reason not too.  Do you understand, Dani?"

"Yes, sir."

I hadn't called him that in a long time.

"Does this have to do with Topher?"

"Yes, Daddy."

"And you were with him?"

"Yes."

"Well, I'm not going to forbid you to see him—that never works.  Were you alone?"

"No, we went to a party."

"Where?"

The truth:  I went to a crash party at a mansion with hit's cross-dressing alter ego, and it got raided by the cops.

I simplified it to "one of his female relatives was the host."

"You mean his mother?  A sister?"

"She could have been a cousin."

"And what happened?"

"There was beer, and I drank some."

"And where was Topher?  Did he give you the alcohol?"

"No, it was Christy."

"Another one of his women-folk?"

"No, the same one."

That came pretty close to telling the truth.  This was going better than I dreaded it might.

"Aren't you upset, Daddy?"

"Yes, but I know you're under a lot of stress:  you have this court thing next week, your driving test on Friday, and you'll be graduating soon.  I know it looks like you're an adult now, but you've got a few years to grow yet. 

"It doesn't happen all at once.  As your parents, all we can do at this stage is hold your hand and wish you the best.  The rest is up to you.

"Growing up is like riding a motorcycle, punkin'; you can make it go as fast as you want, but the hard part is knowing when to apply the brakes.

"I want you to consider the potential consequences of your actions tonight.  You got off lightly...you could've gotten into real trouble, or worse. Now get some sleep; we'll talk about it later."

Now I had one more thing to worry about.  To top it off, it was now 3:00 AM and I had to get up at 7:00.  I'd be dog-tired tomorrow, even if I could fall asleep right away.

I was asleep before the thought cleared my head.

[33—Double Jeopardy]

[CONTINUED]

I watched hit go and stood there shivering. 

I was cold and drunk, but I had the presence of mind to feel violated.  You just shouldn't mislead people like that.

What about you, a voice deep in my head asked.  I'm not responsible for other people's assumptions.

The cops were searching all around now, there was even a helicopter with a spotlight.  I moved away from the fence and took shelter behind an elaborate marble cenotaph.

"Forgive me," I said to the soldiers whom it honored.  "But I need protection.  I hope you'll understand."

It occurred to me that what I had just done was no different from prayer.  I'd never prayed before.

"And if you could see to it that Topher and Tammy make it back to me safely, I'd appreciate it."

"Amen," I added, because it felt appropriate here.

I sat and waited, cold, cramped and shivering.  I watched the moon for a half hour and still no T&T.

Di-dit di-dit di-dit.  It was the alarm on my pendant watch. 

11:15. 

I needed to meet my sister soon.

Should I go for her, or wait here for them? 

Topher knew what the score was, and Tammy was pretty street-wise, so I decided in favor of Gina. They'd just have to play it by ear.

There was no way to leave them a note, so I just left.

It took me twenty minute to walk to Shoffer's and Gina was waiting by the door in her Raggedy-Anne costume, worried as hell.

"Where have you been, Dani?  I've been so worried.  Where is Tammy?"

"We got split up.  Listen, Gina, the police came and busted the party up.  I got out but Topher went back to get Tammy."

I decided not to tell her about Christy.

"That's terrible, Dani, but we gotta get back soon.  Mommy and Daddy are probably already home."

"Okay, we'll get going."  I was trying to pull myself together.  "Where is your other costume?  And your candy?"

"Let's just go home, Dani...I wanna go home."

It was too late for the bus, so we had to walk, another forty minutes.  We stopped at a 24-hour drugstore and bought candy and bags to put it in, then headed home.  It would look suspicious if we came home empty handed.

"Are you okay," Gina asked me when were crossing a busy street.

"Yeah, why?"

"Because you're staggering.  And you're talking funny."

"I had a bit to drink."

"Dani, are you drunk?  Are you crazy?  Mom and Dad will kill us both if they find out."

"You won't get in trouble, little sis.  It was my idea; I was responsible, and I let you go out by yourself.  I am the one who went to a party and drank the beers."

She was still looking apprehensive.

"Good thing nothing happened to you, or I'd be in really big trouble."

She remained suspiciously silent on that point.

I started eating a bunch of candy, hoping the sugar would help sober me up and cover my sour breath.

When we got home, the car was parked in the drive, and the porch light was on.

Mother was up.

"How did it go?  You were out awfully late...good haul?"

"Yes," we both said, our mouths full of sweets.  We held up the bags as proof.

"Good.  Now get to bed, you've got to get up in the morning.  And be quiet, Robbie is asleep."

That was it?  No debriefing, no exit interview?  Maybe we would both live till tomorrow.

"Oh, Dani," Mother asked before we could put away our coats.  "Could I talk to you for a minute?"

***

"What is it, Momma?"

"I know you've got court in the morning..."

Oh, shit.  I'd forgotten.  I'd been so busy planning my escapade, I'd neglected my preparations.  I meant to make the time.

"...and I wanted you to know that we are both proud of you, honey.  I'm sorry Mitchell can't be there, but Old Man Boss gave me the week off.  I'll be with you the whole time."

"Thanks, Mom."

I didn't want to have this conversation.  My head was reeling and my breath stank of sour mash.  The candy had all rushed to my veins and now I felt loquacious.  But I was afraid if I talked to her, I'd puke on her too.

"Are you okay, Dani?   You look peaked."

The room felt like it was spinning.

"I'm okay...I just...candy.  I ate too much candy and I'm feeling a bit nauseous."

"Well, you'll be better in the morning.  We can talk after I get Gina and Robbie off to school.  We're on the 9:30 docket."

"Okay," I said weakly.

"Now get some sleep.  I'll see you in the morning."  She kissed me on the forehead and went off to bed.

***

I went up to my room, but instead of going to bed, I changed clothes into a dark sweat-suit and put my pajamas and slippers in a pillow case.

Then I went back downstairs and snuck out of the house.

Nobody was there when I got the cemetery.  Even the cops were gone.  I went to where we had the party.

There was nobody there, but plenty of signs we had been.  There were beer cans and broken bottles and lots of police tape.

The strobes and stereo had been left by the fleeing members of the BLT.  The batteries had run down and the strobes blinked weakly and now Dianna Ross sounded like Isaac Hayes.

But no sign of Tammy or Topher.

I went back to Shoffer's and found Hit's motorcycle parked in front.

"Tammy," I cried in relief.  "Are you okay?"

She looked frightful.  Besides being dressed like a bindle-stiff, she was covered in something dark, like motor oil or shoe polish.  Most of it had been wiped off of her hands and face; she looked like a white coal miner after a long day at work.

Topher was not very happy either.

"What happened?"

"I tried to be smott."

"Smott?  Is that like 'smart'?"

"Kinda," she smiled.  "But not really."

I turned to Topher.

"What happened?"

"After I left you in the cemetery, I went back in, but the cops were everywhere.  They arrested Tilly, and Bobbi, and JJ.  I don't know who else. 

"So I went back into the cellar and hid.  I found Tammy there, passed out."

"So how did you get past them?  Or did you have to wait till they left?"

"The door was left ajar, so we just snuck out.  Al Jolson here moves like a commando."

"Al Jolson?"  This ought to be good.

Tammy looked ashamed.

"Dani," Topher asked me, still giving Tammy an unkind look, "did you know she planned to come in black-face?"

"What?"

That explained the dark stuff on her skin.  Her cheeks flushed bright red.

"Tammy, are you crazy?"

"No."

"What were you thinking?"

"That it wouldn't be a big deal.  I am black in a way."

"No, you're not," Topher pointed out pointedly.

"And who the hell are you to tell me who I am?  Listen, bruthah, just because you black, don't make you no nigga'."

He looked like he'd been slapped.

"And I tell you another thing, y'all grew up in this white-bread suburb, where life is cozy and you go to the library and the YMCA.  I grew up across the river, in the corn-pone ghetto. 

"I see people free-basing every other day, and can tell if an eight-ball is light by lookin' at it.  I know a girl same age as Dani's sista' hoein' it out onna street.

"And I know that life is all about dirty money, and that people like my uncle are willing to do anything to get it.

"So don't you sit there and tell me that I ain't black cause you're darker than me.  Maybe you should come to East St. Lou with me and we'll see who comes back."

What can you say to that?  I didn't say anything.

[CONTINUED]

[32—Christy]

[CONTINUED]

I felt oddly comfortable, being held in Christy's arms, but I'm glad she didn't try to kiss me; I don't know what I'd have done.

An awkward moment ensued, but passed with the song.  The next number up was disco, and I didn't feel like dancing anymore.

We went back over to the stereo and I got another beer.  It was hot down here with all these bodies and the strobe lights.  I tried to twist the lid off like Tammy and this time I succeeded.

It was a good thing my dress was orange...our dance had transferred some of her stripes to me.  People might get the wrong idea.

I became aware of a dead silence.

The crowd split and none other than Herself, the Queen of Denial, came sauntering down the path and stopped in front of the radio.

She was dressed like a caterpillar, with a hookah in one hand and a martini glass in the other.

"Lady Christine," she said warmly to Christy, and they both made a double fake-kiss motion to each others cheeks.  "How do you do?"

She deigned to notice me.

"Oh, and you brought the little girl, Plain Dani.  How are you doing, Dane Rabbit."

"May I answer that, or do I need written permission?"

"Ah, well played, darlink."  She slapped me on the ass, which caused me to spit my beer all over Christy.

"I'm sorry," I tried to apologize, but she just laughed. 

"No problem," she told me, patting her kerchief gently at her face.  "It's happened before."

"Sorry kid," the Archdiva explained, "I was going to name you Dame Rabbit, but I think you blew it." 

She held up a hand and addressed the crowd.

"To the dungeons with her."

"We don't have any dungeon, O Keeper of the Six-Dozen White-Raisins."

Her voice hit us like a hailstorm.

"To the dungeons!"

Two Under-Flowers grabbed my arms and I didn't resist.  It was still all a game.  I took a last gulp from my beer.

"You can't take her to the dungeon."  Christy stood before her in defiance. 

"And why not, Miss Christy Rarenthal?"

"Because it's a Sunday, and you're not wearing purple."

"My Gawd, you're right.  Very well, to the dungeons with both of them.  Three-Minutes-in-Paradise!"

The crowd went wild, and we were passed to the front and up out of the tent. 

I was glad to be out of the noise, but it was cold up there.  Our honor guard followed us, hand-in-hand to the bomb shelter.  I went to take a drink of my beer, but there was only foam left.

"Everybody out," Tilly yelled down the passage to the cellar.  "This is the dungeon, and we have prisoners."

They extinguished the candles and left in a hurry and Christy and I were unceremoniously left in the dark while the door was blocked.

"Do what comes natural," Tilly's muffled voice carried through the door.  "You've got three minutes."

I fumbled around for a second, trying to find the bar.  I felt pretty good now, but was still in need of some courage.

What was the point to this exercise?

"Do you know what we're supposed to do," Christy asked, just as I was about to ask her the same thing.

"No."

"It's a game.  Teeny-bopper shit, really, where they put a boy and a girl in a closet together for three minutes of anything goes."

"What are they supposed to do?"

"Anything they want."

"What if one doesn't want to?"

"Then they don't.  Look, usually they neck, but sometimes a shirt comes off or a hand gets stuffed somewhere it oughtn't, but it's mostly harmless."

"Sounds dubious to me."

"Yes, I suspect it would."

"What does that mean?"

"Nothing.  It's just that Topher has told me about you."

I found the beer.  Let's see if I could open it in the dark.

"Where is Topher, anyway.  Isn't this his party?"

I twisted off the cap with a satisfying hiss and took a swig.

"No, it's mine, really.  Topher doesn't like wild parties."

"Then why invite me to one?"

"You wanna know?"

"Yes!"

"He likes you.  He thinks you're simply wonderful and has never met anyone he likes to spend time with more."

"He told you all this?"

"He didn't have to."

I took another big gulp of my beer.

"Go easy with that stuff, hon, it's not soda pop."

"Thanks for your concern."

"You're welcome."

"And I like him too," I started, not sure where this was heading.  "I mean, I never met-ted someone like him neither.  And I likie-his-motor-bikie."

I had another drink.

"But honestly, if my parents, I mean mother knew I was sneaking out, I'd be...I'd be in big trouble, don't you doubt it for a second.

"She freaked out about him being a...older.  I think I wanna get him to know better, I mean get to know him better, but I'm a'fraid of him run...not being there.  I think...I think..."

I took another drink, but it didn't stay down.

"I think I'll stop drinking now," I said to the floor, after I'd finished vomiting.

"Good idea.  Don't worry, hon, Topher likes you too, and he's not going anywhere."

"Then where the hell is he," I wailed.  It stank down here.

"Can I tell you something, Dani?"

"Sure, hunnig," I slurred, "just as shoon azh we get this door open.  Do you think it's been three minutes?"

There was a heavy knock.

"Musht be time," I smiled happily.

"Cops," somebody yelled down the hatch, and in a second, I was upright, being pulled along in the dark by Christy.

I was wide awake once we hit the cold October wind.  There were lights coming through the bushes and sirens blinked red and blue from a line of police cruisers outside the fence. 

"Come on," Christy whispered urgently.  Gone was the poised contralto she'd had before.

The pup-tent had been knocked over kids were pouring out of the pool.  They dashed away, trying to get off the property.

Christy led me through the garden and to the back fence. 

"We can both squeeze through here, Dani.  There's a cemetery on the other side."

"What about Tammy," I asked, "and Topher."

"She won't fit."

"We can't just leave her.  And what about Topher?"

"He's not in there, Dani.  Trust me.  Now get on the other side of the fence."

I slipped through the bars.

"How do you know?"

"Because I'm Topher, Dani."

"What?  Topher, how?"

"I'm cross dressing.  I'm quite good at it."

"I'll say.  You fooled the hell out me."

"Are you mad?"

"Yes.  That was a mean thing to do, act like you're Topher's friend.  I told you stuff I'd have never said if I'd known."

"I'm sorry, Dani.  How can I make it up to you?"

"Go get Tammy."

"Okay," hit said without hesitation and faded into the darkness.

[CONTINUED]

[31—Halloween Party]

The next afternoon Tammy showed up, dressed in ratty old clothes.  She was oddly quiet even for her.  I asked her what was wrong.

"Nothin'," she answered.

"Are you sure you wanna go to this party?"

It was about five in the afternoon, and the pre-Samhain scramble was still going on.

Robbie was already gone, and Mom was getting all dolled up to take the Old Man out on a date.  They were highly distracted.

That made it all easy.  All we had to do was get our costumes on—or in Gina's case put on her Raggedy-Anne decoy costume—and wait for the parental units to clear out.  We could mastermind our subterfuge from here.

"I'm all set."  Mother popped into the kitchen.  "How do I look?"

She was wearing a navy blue off-the-shoulder dress with daring lines and a cut that showed her curves.  She accessorized with a string of pearls and matching patent leather pumps and a slim strapless purse.

"Wow Mom," Gina said.  "You look great."

"Thanks.  You two both look so cute.  Heidi and Raggedy-Anne.  Never change, girls.  I mean children."

"Come on, honey," Daddy called from the front room, "the taxi is here."

If they were taking a taxi, they'd be drinking.  Good.

"Coming, dear."  She turned to Gina.  "Don't take this as a criticism, but I'm surprised you weren't more elaborate with your costume this year.  You usually go all out; must be you're growing up.  I'm proud of you."

She looked at me.

"So proud of both of you."

She hugged us and was out the door before we knew it.

We had the house to ourselves.

We helped Gina into her costume; she didn't seem to have Tammy's new-found reluctance to undress around hirls, or maybe it was just that we were siblings, and had once been sisters.

She filled out that costume well.  She wasn't exactly voluptuous, but she was a lot curvier than I was and had that wiry build of a dancer-in-training. 

Her chest may have had some help from the gold-lamé eagle plastered across her bust, but the star-spangled hips and ass were all her own.

"Damn, girl," I teased her, trying to draw Tammy out of her funk.  "You don't look like no girl-child.  You betta' be careful."

"I will," she promised and put on her coat.  "Mom and Dad are going to a movie.  It's over at 8:00 and they have dinner reservation at 9:00. 

"They'll be back by ten, eleven tops.  That means we need to meet somewhere by eleven thirty at the latest; we don't want to come in too late."

She shoved a couple of paper sacks into her already bulging canvas tote.  "I've got my other costume.  I'm going now.  Where do you wanna meet?"

"How about Shoffer's diner.  They're open till two."

"Okay," she replied cheerfully and sauntered out the door.

"What about you, gloom-bat?"

"What about me?"

"You're so down today.  What gives?"

"Nothin'."

"Okay, but that's your second nothin' today.  Any more and I'll have to cut you off."

She gave a half-hearted smile.

"I'm okay, honey-chile.  I just in a bad moot today."

"Over what?"

"Nothin'," she sounded like a scratched record.  "Sometimes you don't need no reason to just be sat."

"Well, cheer up," I pinched her cheek,   "We're about to go out and have some fun.   So you're goin' as a hobo?"

"Not exactly.  There's a bit more to it."

"Like what," I said, looking for subtle clues.

"You'll see."

***

"You sure this is the right house," Tammy asked, looking at the mailbox with her flashlight.

"Sure," I told her, holding the scrap of paper that the address was written on under the beam of light.

For some reason, they didn't tell us before hand the address of the party, Topher had just said "Christy's house", and left it at that. 

Bobbi had called about 4:30 that afternoon and gave me the street address.  She read it into the receiver like it was a secret code.

It was a big two-story flag-stone house done in the style of a manor.  I'd be tempted to call it a mansion, it was so big.  It was on a humongous lot, with iron fences and two gates that opened onto a semi-circular drive. 

We were by the brick posterns of one of the gates, trying to figure out how to get in.  There was no sign the house was inhabited.

"Ssst," someone said, and I turned to Tammy.

"What?"

"I didn't say nothin'."

"Over here."

I turned and saw a slim teen that I'd seen at the BLT.  I didn't know if it was a boy or girl.  Heo was one of the wall-flowers that surrounded the likes of Tilly but never dared speak up.

"What," I asked heom.

"This way," heo gestured and we followed.  "Around back."

There was a pool around back, but it was drained for the winter and covered with a thick custom tarpaulin.  A small makeshift pup-tent had been erected at one end, down where the ladder and diving board should be.

We passed a clump of rose bushes and another androgynous wall-flower stood up.

"Damn," Tammy exclaimed, pushing heom out of her way.  "You scar't the shit outta me!"

"Be quiet," the other warned. "And shut out the light."

I could see nobody else but I heard a dull rumble coming through the ground.

Our guide led us through a manicured topiary and to an earthen mound about ten feet high and thirty feet across.  It was an island of native wildlife, like a nature preserve.   I could see little crosses in there, like it was a tiny graveyard.

We went around to the other side and there was a door.  It was a dug-out, maybe a wine cellar, or it could have been a bomb shelter. 

On the plaque above the nearly horizontal steel door was a stone lintel incribed "Joshua Habbit—Old Habits Die Hard." 

The last bit was in Latin.

Was it a tomb?  I was getting a vibe of serious creep.

I could see someone had drawn the outline of a sarcophagus in the dust on the door.  It was really good.

It began to creak ominously and the door opened.  Bobbi was there, holding it open for a gorgeous young mulatto woman maybe a couple of years older than me.

She was carrying a case of beer on her head.

Bobbi spotlighted her with her flashlight.

She was taller than me, about five-and-a-half feet, but slim, with a figure that a fashion model would envy.  She wore a chocolate brown form-fitting dress with tangerine tiger-stripes.  Orange makeup completed the look on her face and arms.

She had calm, intelligent eyes which looked oddly familiar, and a warm smile.

"How do you do," she said and handed me a beer.  "You must be Dani.  Topher's told me so much about you."

"Glad to meet you."  I took the beer.

"I'm Christy."  She handed another beer to Tammy, who took it and popped the top without ceremony.

"Thanks.  I'm Tammy."  She started drinking.

"Where is Topher," I asked.  I really wanted to see hir.

"Hit's around here somewhere, unless hit went for more beer."

Hit'd been teaching her the right words.  I wondered if they were relatives.

I could see she had a tiger-tail pinned to her costume when she turned to the pool.  She led a congo-line of drunken party-goers over to the tent and they all went in.

I wondered how crowded it must be in there.

Tammy and I descended the stairs into the underground.

It was a roundish room, shaped like a key-hole when you considered the stairs, dimly lit by candles along the perimeter and a hurricane lamp hanging from the ceiling.

It was mostly filled with barrels and crates.  It looked like a store-room.

Some of the supplies had been broken open and three makeshift spreads were laid out on top of empty crates.  The one in the middle held liquor bottles, to either side were tin-plates of hors d'oeuvres and canapés made from various preserved foods.

None of it looked very appetizing but I could see someone had but a great deal of effort into making do.

I took a saltine spread with something gray.  It was cheese, sort of.

I tried to open my beer and found I didn't know how.

"Here you go, Bambi" said Tammy, trading me bottles and opening mine with no apparent effort.  She swapped them back.  "Ain't you ever opened no beer before?"

"No," I said matter-of-factly.  Why would I have?

"Never?  Don't your Daddy drink beer?"

"Sometimes, but he owns a bottle opener."

"Huh," she said and drained the rest of hers.

"You better eat something, honey," I told her.  "Or you're gonna get drunk."

I took a tentative sip of my own beer.

It was fizzy, like soda, but that's the only aspect of it I was familiar with.

It didn't taste like I thought it would.  It was crisp, sort of, like those apple sodas, but with a tang stronger than cider.  And there was something else—maybe a hint of formaldehyde.

"Hey Tammy, do they put formaldehyde in beer?  I think I can taste it."

"No," she shook her head.  "That's shoju."

When she saw the look I gave her she felt compelled to explain.

"Uncle James has a business partner from Korea who drinks it...it's nasty."

She moved to the buffet and started stacking things on a paper plate.  She got to the bar.

"Rum and Coke," she asked the bartender pleasantly, then added "a double."

The girl in the bat costume, I think it was a girl, shrugged and mixed it up.  She gave it to Tammy who drank half of it in one go.

"Slow down, Evel Knievel," I told her, "you don't want to kill yourself."

"You just watch out for y'self, flyweight" she teased.  "And let Momma Branch take care o' me."

If she kept drinking like that, she'd get drunk, or worse yet, sick.  Then there would be questions.

I took another drink of my beer, this one bigger. 

It wasn't bad.

Nothing was really happening in Old Man Habbit's cellar-of-doom, so I left Tammy alone and went to find Topher.

I didn't find him, only a couple of boys necking in the bushes, but I found the source of the booming.  It was bass and it was coming from the pool.

I went over to the tent.  Nobody was inside, but I could see why.  There was an opening to the empty pool beneath, and I could see light coming up through it.  The tent was there to keep anyone from seeing the light.

Then I realized it was all set up for this:  the silent sentries, the underground music, it was all to keep this party on the sly.  Maybe Christy's parents were out of town and said not to party in the house.

Well, we weren't.

The music was quite audible in the tent, but when I went down into the pool, it was deafening.

It was crowded, and well lit. 

There were strobe lights strung along ropes on three sides of the pool, backdropped with wool army blankets, I suppose to muffle the sound. 

At the far end of the pool was a car-stereo in a box, hooked to a car battery set on a crate, and a scuttlebutt of cold beer beside it.

I didn't recognize anybody.

I wended my way through the dancing crowd and found Christy in the corner, having words with a boy with a sour look on his face and a torn collar.  She talked to him sternly and turned away. 

He got mad and left.

"What did he do," I asked after he was gone.  I could barely hear myself.

"He was hitting on a girl," she fairly yelled the reply, "and she asked him to stop."

"Oh," I said and took another drink of beer.  "Did her boyfriend get mad?"

"No," she hollered.  "Her girlfriend."

Oh.  I'd forgotten I was, both figuratively and literally, underground.

"Did you find Topher," she asked, blinking in the strobelights.

"No," I yelled back," and the music stopped.  "Not yet!"

A romantic melody began and the floor emptied out.  A few couples made their way to the center and began slow-dancing.

"Do you dance," Christy asked.

"No, but my sister does.  She's quite good."

"Not at all?"  She pointed to the couples on the floor.  "Not even like that?"

"I could," I answered, feeling like I somehow owed an explanation, "but I never have.  I mean, what's the point?"

"Come on Dani," she held out her hand.  "Try it.  Dance with me?"

Slow dance with another girl?

A girl, not another.  It was no more ridiculous than dancing with a boy.

What the hell?  I drained my beer.

I took her hand and she led me out onto the dance floor.

She was just taller than me, enough to rest my head on her shoulder.  She grabbed me around the waist and pulled me close, and we started swaying together, moving in lazy circles, oblivious of the other dancers.

It felt good.  I don't usually long for human contact, but she was so soft and warm, and she smelled good.  Like summer flowers.

I realized I might be leading her on, and I didn't want that.

"Have you known Topher long?"

"Since we were little kids."

"Are you two related?"

"We have the same grandparents." 

What an odd way to denote consanguinity.  That could mean they were either siblings or double cousins.

"Tell me what he's like.  I've only known him a week or so.  I like him, but wonder if he's really that nice."

"He's not," she spoke frankly.  "He's a sneaky cuss, and you can't trust him."

"Really?  It's all a facade?"

She stepped back, but kept pace with our dance.  "As fake as this."

"You're not fake.  You're in costume."

"Thank you, Heidi."  She moved closer and put her cheek against mine.  For a second, I thought she was going to kiss me.

[CONTINUED]